OH WAIT YOU GUYS I’M NOT DONE TALKING ABOUT KEANU REEVES.

In the Sassy days we would’ve shunned this video (as Christina did in the Bill and Ted issue: “Mr. Reeves recently shed his integrity to appear in Paula Schmabdul’s “Rush Rush” video”) but now it has the 90s nostalgia factor working for it and we can only mock lovingly.

And there’s just so much to love here. The first class acting. The speaking parts.Keanu having run-ins with dapper thugs in hats, jumping out of moving cars, booing…astronomy(?), getting to first base with a bottle of milk and… nibbling Abdul’s face. OMG I’m so peanut butter and jelz right now.

P.S. did you know Keanu’s name literally means cool (breeze over the mountains)? I’m thinking of adding it to my vernacular. Like, “Girl, where’d you get those zoot pants? They’re so keanu.”