This video for The Lemonheads’ “It’s a Shame About Ray,” featuring object of perpetual Sassy lust, Evan Dando and one-time Sassy coverboy Johnny Depp, is dedicated to my mom, the most dedicated J. Depp fan in the world. In high school I remember my mom ordering bootleg Johnny Depp  movies on VHS and spending many a weekday afternoon perusing Blockbuster shelves with her to rent all of his films, even the super boring ones he did to be arty like that demon library book hell movie or whateverthefuck. We both wished we were Juliette Lewis in “What’s Eating Gilbert Grape” and I even bought the book and imagined myself as her character, Becky. My mom loves him in everything (as do I) but I think he’s hottest in Gilbert Grape because he’s all moody and dresses grunge-y and takes good care of his brother and is his mom’s knight in shimmering armor. Dream man! Also Juliette was so cute in it and I always wanted to flirt with a dude by telling him how praying mantises mate.

I have to say, this music video guest appearance is a lot more keanu (aka cool, if you are hip to the lingo) than Keanu’s appearance in Ms. Abdul’s. I guess you win this round, Deppster. But they both need to rush rush hurry hurry lover come to me. Poetry.

I give this video a 35 out of 10 on the 90s hotness bangability scale.